A day, oh what a day

I started out a little bit better today, I talked on Skype with one of my best friends and my partner at arvid&olof, and she made it all better. It's so nice to have a company together with a friend, I know that it cab be risky, but when it works it's so great! I tend to feel better when I can dwell on my mind going haywire, I think I sort of listen to myself in a better way. It's harder for me to get over the crazieness when the conversation takes place in my head... It's not totally good though to talk to someone when I feel anxious, I have to learn to ride the anxiety wave all on my own, in that way I learn that it's not dangerous or so unbearable that I will pass out. What I Do need to do is to find an outlet for it a bit faster, something else that I can occupy my mind with and break the bad pattern. Today that was cupcakes, chocolate with pink hart shaped sprinkles. 

Butterflies, anxiety and prosperety

Today has been quite a day, full of anxiety mixed with a lot of prosperety. It's a difficult combination for me because I sometimes have a hard time telling them apart, and I end up feeling not so good. I notice that I have come a long way with my work towards my anxiety, but sometimes my head goes bananas anyway. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel tomorrow morning, I'm just not sure if I have paid enough attention to it for it to leave me be tomorrow. It's like an annoying little brother, if you don't pay attention to it enough, or you just pretend to give it attention, it's going to come back again and again and again and REALLY make you listen... I have a fantastic appartment here in Berlin and I love to put fresch flowers in every corner, that beauty gives me a lot of pleasure and remindes me of how lucky I am and how much love I have surrounding me💗.